What you say about other's says more about you.
I learned how powerful idle gossip is during my first months of work in a Pizza place. One of my coworkers approached me and warned me "You have to be careful of those two extreme gossip people, because if they target you then, is going to be hell for you here". I was shocked to hear that. I come to work here because i know the people i know the owner, and i know that he is very respectful person in the community, its impossible to believe what you are saying, i told him! But he said "Just be careful, thats all" I started to work and it wasn't long after my conversation with my coworker that i had my first experience with one of them. She started talking about everyone in the workplace, then before she finishes gossiping about everyone there, she started to gossip about people i knew and she knew, and continuing like this for long time. I didn't agree with what she was saying but always her "partner in crime" would back her up "Yes You are right, this is exactly what happened" they really make you believe that that was true, but everything was just a big lie. The biggest cost of gossiping, of course, is that it robs you of a clear mind.
I tried really hard to make a point at them and to change them, because deep down maybe they were not as bad as they acted, but the roots of their beliefs was so deep that it was impossible to make them change, unless they decided to change, which it was out of question for them.
Few months passed by and the more i got to know these gossipers the harder it become to continue working there.
One day I decided to turn all their poison gossip into fuel for me to work harder on myself and to push to get out of there as soon as i could. I could quit any time, but because of some other good people that i worked with and because i knew the owner and i respected him, i continued to work hopping i was going to change them.
I started to change the subject every time they were gossiping.
I would say something positive about the person that they would gossip, and they didn't like that, but i didn't care, i wanted to make my point clear, that i don't agree with you.
Sometimes when the gossiping was at really high level i would just walk away, or keep quiet.
It was my last conversation with the gossipers when i made it clear to them that i no longer want to hear gossiping about others. Basically what they were doing was they were lying about other people, making things up, or making fun of someone else that wasn't present at the time. It was some kind of entertainment for them and it was so deep that even they didn't realize that they were hurting other's people feelings with their lies.
I took these two gossipers as example to illustrate how they were fabricating stories about everyone, without realizing that all they were doing was showing signs of low self esteem. All they were showing by gossiping was that their belief and their abilities are not enough to get what they want. It also showed that based on the false belief, they couldn't handle the consequences knowing the truth about them, which was simply another way of saying that I AM NOT ENOUGH.
Too many people waste valuable time and precious resources talking about others, and not looking in the mirror and asking themselves: "What can i do today, NOW, to make my life and the life of everyone around me better, easier".
My advice to them and to any gossiper that waste valuable time, is: Don't make assumptions, just look into the facts. Don't make decisions based on your assumptions, because you are going to make bad decisions.
WHAT YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT OTHERS IT SAYS MORE ABOUT YOU.
I quit the job and it was the best decision i took. When I don't feel energized to do something, all i have to do is to just bring up their names in my memory and it is more than enough reason for me to keep on going and keep on pushing hard to become THE BEST I CAN BE.
Until then, BeTheBest BTB.